Ep. 4 - Burning the Need to Please

In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Broken to Build, host Lauryn is joined by Melissa Perry, a friend and previous guest from Episode Zero, to delve into Melissa’s extraordinary story of redemption, healing, and transformation. Melissa opens up about her childhood in Jupiter, Florida, growing up in a picture-perfect family that hid deep fractures beneath the surface. She shares the pain of watching her mother’s struggle with addiction and eventual departure, which left Melissa as the caretaker for her younger siblings and thrust her into the role of a “people pleaser.” Melissa’s journey didn’t end there—she reflects on how these early experiences shaped her relationships, career, and faith in unexpected ways. This conversation explores pivotal moments of Melissa’s life: the freedom she discovered in college, the challenges of motherhood, and the lessons she learned through building and eventually selling her business. Melissa offers an honest look at how striving for success and approval became a heavy burden, leading her to a profound moment of surrender to God. Through counseling, breaking generational cycles, and learning the beauty of boundaries, Melissa found freedom and purpose in leaning on her faith. From heartfelt anecdotes about her family to raw discussions about the pain of unlearning old patterns, this episode is a testament to the power of God’s redemptive love and the strength found in embracing brokenness. Whether you’re struggling with people-pleasing, striving for perfection, or finding your purpose, Melissa’s story will inspire you to trust the process and rest in the transformative grace of God. • 00:00:00 Introduction: Melissa returns to the podcast to share her story and discuss the struggles and redemptions that have shaped her life. • 00:02:00 Growing up in Jupiter, Florida: A picture-perfect family hiding deep pain and Melissa’s early childhood memories. • 00:03:00 The unraveling of her family: Her mother’s addiction, the impact of divorce, and the absence of emotional support. • 00:08:00 Becoming the family caretaker: How Melissa stepped into a motherly role for her siblings and her father’s dependency on her. • 00:14:00 College years: The tension between finding freedom and staying close to family responsibilities, meeting her husband, and discovering new perspectives on love and faith. • 00:19:00 The challenges of motherhood: How becoming a mother unearthed hidden wounds and led Melissa to start a business supporting women. • 00:23:00 Striving vs. surrendering: The realization that self-reliance and people-pleasing were preventing true freedom in her faith journey. • 00:28:00 Breaking generational cycles: How Melissa’s father’s passing forced her to confront old wounds and seek deeper healing. • 00:30:00 Counseling and community: The role of therapy and trusted mentors in helping Melissa undo false beliefs and find her identity in Christ. • 00:34:00 Freedom in boundaries: Embracing the power of saying “no” and finding balance between serving others and honoring personal limits. • 00:36:00 Wrapping up: Reflections on the journey and a look ahead at Melissa’s ongoing transformation.